Happy Wedding Wednesday!
On Saturday, Cody and I celebrated six months of marriage. We were really intentional this weekend about sharing what we feel has been the best about our marriage and what we think we can work on to become a better wife and a better husband.
We sat down and read the vows we wrote to one another for our wedding, and honestly, that really helped us to realize what we had been great at and what maybe needs a little more prayer and work.
If you thought this post was going to start off by me saying something like “marriage is wonderful and perfect and here’s a list of why…”, I’m sorry, but that’s just not happening today. haha.
Don’t get me wrong, marriage is wonderful and a blessing from God, but it’s not something I could give you a list of why about. I always want to be honest and transparent about everything I tell you guys – whether it’s about a dress, a lipstick or most importantly, a relationship.
I would never want to mislead you to think that my marriage is perfect or that anyone’s could be perfect, really.
We live in a society of assumed perfection.
What I mean is, we look at social media and see the highlight reel of someone’s life and assume perfection. Then we think about our own lives and do not play the highlight reel in our heads – we see the not-so-perfect stuff.
I’m SO guilty of it. I look at some of my favorite instagrammers’ lives and compare, compare, compare. But, I know it has to stop. Especially comparing things as complex as relationships.
Comparison is the thief of joy, and it can really hurt a marriage, especially a new one.
So, I say all that to say, no matter what advice I give, you have to take a look at your relationship – whether you’re dating, engaged, married or single but thinking about what your future marriage will be like and praying for it (which I highly recommend). You can take what I say and apply it to your scenerio with a few changes and differences.
For example, I can’t say, “for a good marriage, you have to have a date night once a week.” That just looks different for every couple. You have to find what works for you, your relationship, your life and your marriage.
I guess that’s the first lesson we’ve learned – don’t assume that because something works for someone else’s marriage that it will work seamlessly for us.
Another couple we know travels ALL the time. I mean they’re at the beach more than we go to the grocery store.
And that’s awesome, great for them. But, I got pretty frustrated when I assumed that just because they did that, we should be, too.
It just doesn’t work like that for us – we’re saving up for a house, we’ve got pets that we don’t like to leave, life gets in the way sometimes, etc.
AND THAT’S OKAY.
Another lesson we’ve learned is the thing you’ve probably heard over and over, “marriage is a lot of work.”
Yes. Sort of.
To us, engagement was a lot of work. I mean A LOT of work. We had a difficult season of engagement, and I will be very transparent about that. It was hard, long and God shaped and molded us a ton through that period.
So, compared to that, marriage has been much easier. Just working in a different way – learning how to live with one another, work financially together, make plans including one another and not forgetting to mention it, not buying too many shoes without telling one another (…just me?).
But, remember that you have to take my words and put them in the context of your marriage – so, if you didn’t go through that period of change and shaping in engagement, you might in the first few months or year of your marriage.
So, it isn’t all pretty. It can be hard stuff.
But, it’s so worth it.
Those Saturday morning cuddles when you first wake up, making breakfast together and movie marathons whenever you want. The hugs when you most need them, someone to walk through hard decisions with, the person with whom you can spend all your days.
Last lesson, which I’ve mentioned in so many of my Wedding Wednesday posts before – being married to your best friend is a really important thing.
What I mean by best friend is, your wife or husband should be your first call when you get great news, the first person you want to talk to when you feel sad or upset, the person you want to stay up late talking to.
Marriage is really a lot of fun, yes it takes work, but it’s such a fun and unique experience and relationship. Don’t forget to laugh and have a good time together. Share your days. Try new things. Love each other deeply, but don’t forget to be silly sometimes, too.
I’m so thankful for the past six months of marriage, and I pray for many, many more.
I’d love to hear about you + your relationship! Are you married with years of advice or are you a newlywed, too? Are you single and planning and praying for your future marriage? Let me know in the comments or on instagram.
All my love!
Check out these previous Wedding Wednesday by xo, chelsea catherine posts:
How To Work With Your Wedding DJ
Our Wedding Video
Bridal Beauty // My Wedding Day Makeup Look
Wedding Photography Guide Part Two
Wedding Photography Guide Part One
Beauty Tips Every Bride Needs to Know
Wedding Planning Check List
Splurge vs. Save
Where I Found My Bridesmaids’ Dresses
Wedding Day Details
How to Know When You’ve Found the One
Our Love Story | High School Sweethearts to Walking Down the Aisle
Wedding Dress Guide
Classic Style Engagement Shoot