Happy Wedding Wednesday!
I have grown to really look forward to Wednesdays because of this series. I have always really loved love, so even though my wedding is over, I’m still so excited to talk about dating, engagement, and my experience with both and wedding planning.
I know a lot of girls who, when they’ve reached marriage, they are so over the idea of weddings, but I absolutely love seeing two people so in love that they want to take the biggest step and get married. It’s one of the best ways to learn about a person – the kind of wedding they want/are planning says so much about who they are.
The biggest question I hear is something that far precedes marriage, though. It’s “how do you know when you’ve found ‘the one’?”
Cody and I have dated since high school, and when I started thinking about this post and writing it, I talked to him about how we knew. We both truly believe that even when we were 16 years old, we knew we had found what we were looking for. We might not have explicitly said “I know I’m marrying this person” (because when you’re 16, I don’t know that you think like that), but we knew without a doubt that we wanted to be together for everyday…always.
That’s the best way to explain it, I think. When you just can’t imagine not spending your days together, when something good or bad or funny or completely random but you have an inside joke that reminds you of that situation about and you have to call them or you can’t wait to tell them about it – that’s how you know.
They say you just ‘know’, but I think it’s more about what you don’t know. You don’t know what you’d do without them – not in the sad, what if something happens way (even though, yes, that, too), but in the ‘I’m all alone and there are only so many episodes of Fixer Upper I can watch by myself and I don’t know what else to do because nothing is as much fun without them’ kind of way. The ‘I just miss you’ kind of way. The ‘this person is my best friend’ kind of way.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be able to do things by yourself, too. But, you just know you have found your person when everything is more fun with them. Even if you’re just sitting on the couch doing crossword puzzles (I’m not knocking it, it’s actually become one of my favorite things to do haha), just because that person is with you, you’re having fun.
You know because they make you smile, you know because even when you’re not smiling and they’ve made you so mad or sad, you still know it’s worth working for.
It won’t be easy just because you know. There will be people who question it, there will be days when you just don’t agree, days when just the way that person is sitting will make you mad. But, no matter how hard some of those days might be, you still know. The love you have for him or her will remind you that yes, you may hate that ugly yellow shirt they won’t stop re-wearing, you’d rather see them in that yellow shirt than anybody else in any other shirt ever.
If you still need to ask yourself questions (and I get it, there’s a lot of pressure, it’s your forever we’re talking about) ask – am I happy when I’m with him/her? Does he/she make me want to grow? Do they want good things for me? Do I want good things for him or her? Would I be happy just sitting on the couch with them watching Golden Girls reruns on a Tuesday night?
Your forever is worth waiting for. If the person you’re with doesn’t do those things for you, doesn’t make you feel those things, don’t ‘what if’ your way into something that isn’t right. You know what I mean? The ‘what if I don’t find someone else,’ the ‘what if I wait and maybe eventually they want good things for me’ – those. Don’t settle for those. Your forever is worth more.
Yes – it might hurt so badly to think about those next moments of aloneness. But let me repeat it:
Your forever is worth more.
If you can imagine your life without them, and maybe it’s hard for a few months, but you can picture it eventually being okay, you know your forever is worth more.
I can tell you, I can’t picture my mornings, afternoons or nights without my husband. He is my best friend and has been for seven years. When we were told we needed to break up because we were ‘too young to know what love is’ or that we ‘needed to go to college single,’ or when people doubted us because that’s what people do, or even when we each did things to hurt the other, not because we meant to, but because we were growing up and learning and changing, we knew not being together just wasn’t an option because we were right for each other. We were the forever we wanted.
And, please, please spend time praying about this. Even if you’re single right now, God has your ‘one’ set aside for you. He knows the person whose hand your meant to hold. Why not talk to the one who created your other half JUST FOR YOU about it. Isn’t that crazy? He made someone JUST FOR YOU.
Anyways, talk to Him about it to.
It’s that little ache in your heart when you think about being without them, though. That’s how you know.
You know you’ve found the one when you can feel it – that’s the forever you want.
Please feel free to reach out in the comments, my instagram (@xochelseacatherine), or on my Facebook page (@XO, chelsea catherine) if you’d like to talk a little more about this, need some prayer (about this or ANYTHING else), or have a topic you’d like me to talk about.
All my love!
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WHAT I’M WEARING
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